实习医生格蕾第七季

There's a reason i saidi'd be happy alone.It wasn't 'cause ithought i'd behappy alone.It was because i thoughtif i loved someone...And thent fell apart...I might not make it.It's easier to be alone.Because what if you learn that youneed love... And then you don't have it?What if you like it And lean on it?What if you shape your life aroundit... And then... It falls apart?Can you even survive that kind of pain?Losing love is like organ damage.It's like dying.The only difference is... Death ends.This?It could go on forever.

S7E17一直不明白为啥这两个人会走到一起，然后结婚。

相比Cristina的耀眼，Owen显得温文但平庸。

而那一段作为军医的黑暗历史虽然可以为他的男子气概加分以外，基本没什么特别了。

虽然拿前男友来说有点不厚道，不过burke比他耀眼多了。

首先是激情。

Actually,我觉得这两个人触电的时候怎么都觉得不自然……囧战争的后遗症很难搞，但是Cristina can handle it.而Cristina低谷的时候，两人结婚了。

估计C自己也不知道是怎么的一回事，是想通过结婚的改变而让自己返回正轨还是真的因为想结婚而结婚。

出乎意料的是，Owen二话不说答应了。

Owen虽然并不是天才，但是显然也不是蠢材，他应该也想过这问题。

然后无论C在第六季前半季疯成怎样，Owen都是默默地接受，然后一直没有停止过为了她恢复所做的努力。

没有抱怨，just一往入故的平静。

那时候Altman的看到C在酒吧当酒保的时候已经近乎绝望了，作为她的老师，自己所看过最优秀的学生成了这样子。

那么这时候，作为C的丈夫的Owen的心情呢？

刻意疏远M，同事虽然想帮她但是也逐渐放弃。

D虽然是不会放弃去帮她，但是他毕竟是人家的丈夫。

于是，剩下的只有Owen了。

虽然最后的钓鱼那里也是很偶然地触发她恢复，但是如果O不再，C也不会吃饱穿暖地走到那一步。

今天看到Owen吃批萨的时候才真正意识到，这个男人果然是Cristina的丈夫啊。

C听到消息后又陷入了极端panic和nervous的状态，然后这个男人可以静静地一边吃一边看妻子慌乱地乱舞。

只有这样才能跟Cristina一起生活啊，否则跟着那个发疯命都短几年……记得以前O跟S说过，M和C就像ET里面的ET和孩子，一个生病了另一个也会生病；大家是坐在同一条船上面啊～那次第一次被这突如其来的精辟又搞笑的发言震到了，一边笑一边觉得好对。

可能那时候，O已经很清楚在C身边意味这什么了吧。

___________________http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4ca2b5440100pzvz.html

I spent 4 days watching season 7. And compared with the earlier seasons, it's still very high standard/quality. I used to love Christina for her brilliant. But now i feel like this might lead to one of her weakness as well - she's unwilling to follow the protocal. She thinks too much of her good performance but neglect the importance of the rules of being a relatively junior position. Finally she will learn her lesson by a big failure. I'm worried about Meridith too. Hope she'll be fine in next season.

episode1 With You I'm Born Again.op:Every cell in human body regenerates,on average,7 years.Like snakes,in our own way,we shed our skin.Biologically,we're brand-new people.We may look the same.We probably do.The change isn't visible,at least not most of us.But we're all changed,completely,forever.But it's normal,I mean,it's a biological imperative(应激性的) change.ed:When we say things like'people don't change',it drives scientists crazy.Because change is literally the only constant in all science.Energy,matter,is always changing,morphing,merging,growing,dying...It's the way people trying not to change that's natural, the way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are, the way we cling to our memories instead of forming new ones, the way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that everything in this lifetime is permenent.Change is constant.How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance of life.If we open our fingers,loosen our grips,go with it,it can feel like pure adrenaline.Like at any moment,we can have another chance at life.Like at any moment,we can be born all over again.episode2 Shock to the System.op:They say lightening never strikes twice,but that's a myth. It doesn't happen often. Lightening usually gets it right the first time. When you're hit with 30,000 amps(安培) of electricity,you feel it. It can make you forget who you are. It can burn you,blind you,stop your heart, and cause massive internal injuries. But for something that happens in only a millisecond,it can change your life forever.ed:Lightening doesn't often strike twice. It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually,the pain will go away,the shock will wear off, and you start to heal yourself, to recover from something you never saw coming. If you're in just the right place, at just the right time, you can take a hell of hit, and still have a shot at surviving.episode3 Super Freak.op:Most of surgeons grew up being freaks. When other kids play outside,we holed up in our rooms, memorizing the periodic table(元素周期表),huddling for hours over our junior microscope, dissecting our first frogs. Imagine how surprised and relievied we were,when we grew up and found out there were others out there,just as freaky as we were. Same microscope,same dead frogs,same inexplicable(莫名的) urge to take human beings apart.April:Stop,okay?I'm a virgin,yes.So what? It's not something i talk about,okay? We all have things we don't talk about.Alex,you're been afraid of the elevator for,like,a month,but i never said anything because it's none of my business. And Jackson,you wake up every night screaming, because you have nightmares. And,Meredith,you don't talk about Christina because you're afraid she's never gonna be the same Christina again. And,Lexie...for god's sake,Mark never thought you're a psycho.He loves you! That's why he stares at you,because he can't keep his eyes off the woman he loves. Of course,he's never saying anything,'cause he doesn't feel like he can. Look,we all have stuff we don't talk about.I am a 28-year-old virgin,mainly because I wanted my first time to be special. And then,I waited too long,and partially because I'm pretty sure guys find me annoying.I'm a virgin.That does't make it drinks conversation.We all have stuff we don't talk about!//我好喜欢看April和Lexie freak out...ed:Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don't even realize they're a freak until it's way too late to change it. But no matter how much of a freak you end up being,chances are, there's still someone out there for you. Unless,of course,they've already moved on... Because when it comes to love,even freaks can't wait forever.episode4 Can't Fight Biology.op:Biology determines much of the way we live. From the moment we were born,we know how to breathe and eat. As we grow older,new instincts kick in. We become territorial. We learn to compete. We seek shelter. Most important of all,we reproduce(繁衍后代). Sometimes biology can turn on us,though. Yeah,biology sucks sometimes.Lexie:No,you know what? I've been a total bitch to April all day because of you. You know that? You worry about April,you let her have Izzie's room,you talk to her about your doctor's appointments, and I went crazy. Alex ditched me in a psych ward,Mark slept with Derek's sister, and now I find myself relating to the crazy,jealous lady who drives into laudromats!Meredith:Lexie,I had a miscarriage that day. April was there. That's why she knows about my doctor's appointment. And I did know that Mark slept with Amy,but I didn't think you cared. I can never tell what the hell is going on with you two. And as far as the psych ward goes,you were not alone. I sat by your bedside for 36 hours while you slept. You're not crazy,Lexie. You're a Grey. :)ed:Our D.N.A doesn't account for all of us,though.(基因并不能解释我们的一切.) We're human. Life changes us. We develop new traits,become less territorial. We stop competing. We learn from out mistakes. We face our greatest fears. For better or worse,we find ways to become more than our biology. The risk,of course,is that we can change too much to the point we don't recognize ourselves. Finding our way back can be difficult. There's no compass,no map. We just have to close our eyes,take a step,and hope to God we'll get there. episode5 Almost Grown.op:They train doctors slowly. They watch us practice on frogs and pigs and dead people and then live people. They drill us relentlessly, they raise us like children and eventually they take a cold, hard boot and they kick us out of the nest.ed:We're so busy trying to get out of that nest that we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there...really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we are standing there alone.episode6 These Arms of Mine.op:Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, home to some of the finest, most influential doctors in the country. Several months ago a gunman roamed these halls, leaving eleven people dead and even more injured. Today we visit the survivors, their patients, their triumphs, and their disappointments. This is Seattle Grace Mercy West, road to recovery.ed:None.episode7 That's Me Trying.op:When was the last time a complete stranger took offer clothes in front of you, pointed to a big purple splotch on her back, and asked, "What the hell is this thing?" If you're a normal person, the answer is, hopefully never. If you're a doctor, the answer is, probably, about 5 minutes ago. People expect doctors to have all of the answers. The truth is, we love to think that we have all of the answers. Basically, doctors are know-it-alls until, something comes along to remind us that we're not.ed:We're all looking for answers...in medicine...in life...in everything. Sometimes the answers we're looking for are hiding just below the surface. Other times we find answers when we didn't even realize we were asking a question. Sometimes the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for, we're still left with a whole hell of a lot of questions.episode8 Something's Gotta Give.op:The human body is a highly pressurized system. The blood pressure measures the force of blood pulsating through the body. It's important to keep this pressure regulated. Low or inadequate pressure an cause weakness or failure. It's when the pressure gets too high that problems really occur. If the pressure continues to increase, a closer examination is called for because it's the best indicator that something is going terribly wrong. Bailey:Eat when you can,sleep when you can,and don't screw with the pancreas(胰腺).ed:Every pressurized system needs a relief valve. There has to be a way to reduce the stress, the tension, before it becomes too much to bare. There has to be a way to find relief because if the pressure doesn't find a way out, it will make one. It will explode. It's the pressure we put on ourselves that's the hardest to bare. The pressure to be better then we already are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be. It never ever lets up. It just builds and builds and builds.episode9 Slow Night, So Long.op:We doctors take pride in the fact that we can basically sleep standing up, anytime, anywhere. But, it's a false pride because the truth is after twenty hours without sleep you might as well just come to work drunk, doctor or not. So it's no wonder that fatal medical errors increase at night when we doctors are proudly sleeping on our feet. Recently our communal pride has been shattered and our egos have been wounded by new laws that require we sleep all day before we work all night. We are not happy about it. But, as someone who might need medical care, you really should be.Teddy:You're married.You don't get to have an opinion about my pathetic forays into Internet dating. ed:Under the cover of darkness, people do things they never do under the harsh glare of day. Decisions feel wiser. People feel older. But, when the sun rises, you have to take responsibility for what you did in the dark. And face yourself under the cold harsh light of day.episode10 Adrift and at Peace .op:Meredith: The goal of any surgery is total recovery - to come out better than you were before. Some patients heal quickly and feel immediate relief. For others the healing happens gradually, and it's not until months or even years later that you realize you don't hurt anymore. So the challenge after any surgery is to be patient. But if you can make it through the first weeks and months, if you believe that healing is possible, then you can get your life back. But that's a big if.ed:The first 24 hours after surgery are critical. Every breath you take, every fluid you make, is meticulously reported and analyzed. Celebrated or mourned. But what about the next 24 hours? What happens with that first day turns to two and weeks turn into months? What happens when the immediate danger has passed, when the machines are disconnected and the teams of doctors and nurses are gone? Surgery is when you get saved, but post-op, after surgery, is when you heal. But, what if you don't?episode11 Disarm.op:To a degree, medicine is a science...but I would argue that it's also an art. The doctors who see medicine as a science only, you don't want them by your side when you're bleeding won't stop or when your child is screaming in pain. The clinicians go by the book. The artists follow their guts. The artists feel your pain and they go to extremes to make it stop. Extreme measures. That's where science ends and art begins.ed: Surgery is extreme. We cut into your body, take out pieces, and put what's left back together. Good thing life doesn't come with a scalpel because if it did, when things started to hurt, we would just cut and cut and cut. The thing is what we take away with a scalpel we can't ever get back. So, like a said, good thing.episode12 Start Me Up.op:People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start. Clean slate. A world of possibility. But no matter what adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life, so how different can it possibly be.Callie: My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment.ed:It's all anybody wants, right? Clean slate. A new beginning. Like that's gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing's easy about starting over. Nothing at all.episode13 Don't Deceive Me(Please Don't Go).op:Doctors practice deception all the time. We give vague answers to hard questions. We don't talk about post-op pain. We say you'll experience some discomfort. If you didn't die, we tell you the surgery went well, but the placebo has to be the doctor's greatest deception. Half of our patients we tell the other truth ... the other half, we pray the placebo effect's real. And we tell ourselves that they'll feel better anyhow, believing help's on the way, when, in fact, we're leaving them to die.ed:Doctors practice deception every day — on our patients, on their families. But the worst deception we practice is on ourselves. Which is why sometimes it takes us a while to realize that the truth has been in front of us the whole time.episode14 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing).op:One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize(分清主次). We're trained to do all we can to save life and limb, but, if cutting off a limb, means saving a life, we learn to do it without hesitation. It's not an easy lesson to learn, and it always comes down to one question, "what are the stakes?" What do we stand to gain or lose? At the end of the day, we're just gamblers trying not to bet the farm.ed:Surgery is a high stakes game. But no matter how high the stakes, sooner or later, you're just going to have to go with your gut, and, maybe just maybe, that'll take you right where you were meant to be in the first place.episode15 Golden Hour.op:How much can you actually accomplish in an hour? Run an errand maybe, sit in traffic, get an oil change. When you think about it an hour isn't very long. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. In medicine, though, an hour is often everything. We call it the golden hour. That magical window of time that can determine whether a patient lives or dies.ed:An hour, one hour, can change everything forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your mind. Sometimes an hour is a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour makes all the difference in the world. But in the end, it's still just an hour, one of many,many more to come. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. Then it starts all over again. And who knows what the next hour might hold.episode16 Not Responsible.op:Everyone figures doctors are the most responsible people they know. They hold lives in their hands. They're not flakes. They don't lose track of important details or make stunningly bad judgment calls. 'Cause that would be bad, right?ed:We are responsible with our patients. The problem is we blow it all out at work. In our own lives, we can't think things through. We don't make the sound choice. We did that all day at the hospital. When it comes to ourselves, we've got nothing left. And is it worth it—being responsible? Because if take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and what've you got? Vitamins and nothing.episode17 This Is How We Do It.op:Renegades, rule-breakers, gangsters with scalpels. This is the way we like to think of ourselves. It makes us feel badass, sexy. Problem is it's not exactly true. At heart, we're rule followers, sheep. We don't break protocol. We follow it to a "T." Because if we don't follow protocol, our patients die, and then we're no longer badass. We're just bad.ed:It's every doctor's dilemma. Do you play it safe and follow protocol? Or take a risk and invent a new one? There can be reward in risk. There can also be fallout. Still you need to book the system every once in a while. Bet big. And when you get the results you want, there's no better feeling in the world, but when you don't...episode18 Song Beneath The Song.op:The brain is the human body's most mysterious organ. It learns. It changes. It adapts. It tells us what we see, what we hear. It lets us feel love. I think it holds our soul. And no matter how much research we do, no one can really say how all that delicate grey matter inside our skull works. And, when it's hurt, when the human brain is traumatized, well, that's when it gets even more mysterious.episode19 It's a Long Way Back.op:After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you're suddenly surrounded by people—doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians—surgery is a team sport. Everyone pushing for the finish line. Putting you back together again. But surgery is a trauma in and of itself, and once it's over, the real healing begins. It's called recovery. Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long. It's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell.ed:The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered anything at all. You're a whole new person with a whole new life.episode 20 White Wedding.op:Diseases. Toxins. Our bodies encounter dangers all the time. Just beneath the surface hidden. Whether you realize it or not, your body is constantly protecting itself. Every time you blink your eye, you wash away thousands of unwanted microbes. Breathe in too much unwanted pollen, and you sneeze. The body detects the invader. It releases its white blood cells, and it attacks.ed:Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.episode 21 I Will Survive.op:We've all heard the saying. It's one of those things you learn in seventh grade science class. Adapt or die. Adapting isn't easy though. You have to fight your competition and off their attacks. And sometimes, you have to kill. You do what you need to do to survive.ed:Adapt or die. As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get easier. The problem is we're human. We want more than just to survive. We want love. We want success. We want to be the best that we can be. So, we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels like death.episode 22 | Unaccompanied Minor.op:I always said I'd be happier alone. I have my work, my friends, but someone in your life all the time? More trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I got over it.ed:There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasnt because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever...

疫情期间开始追，到现在已经追了将近一半了。

用一季度的时间看完了他们的7年，又哭又笑，里面的每一个姑娘我都好爱。

Meredith到这一季度很明显长大了呀，受妈妈的影响，从她没勇气接受别人的好，不太需要别人也不想被人需要，到迈出便利贴婚姻那一步，Derek教他什么是爱什么是责任，到这一季度她想成为妈妈了，一个好妈妈，尽管她不知道如何做，但zola的到来更柔软了她。

Cristina经历了枪击案之后在这一季度用了半年做创伤恢复期，Derek不知不觉也因为Meredith早把Cristina当家人了，钓鱼那Yang又哭又笑的真的戳到我了，在困难时期有人这样用心的开导真的是幸福啊，恢复之后的杨又成了最闪亮的那块金子，I love her so much，爱她毒舌真性情那种老娘就是棒及对事业的那份笃定！

季末她打掉孩子那块感觉Owen还是不太适合她，想Burke的第六个季度了，我心中这部剧的best man啊，他离开的最意难平。

五小强里面的Alex，让人讨厌的自私冷漠毒舌，但又觉得会心疼他，他也在很努力的变好，细心的为大家着想，反过来想，一个真自私冷漠的人怎么可以热爱儿科呢？

本季里面他无意间醉酒后把Meredith偷换实验数据告诉Owen，Owen导致mer差点被开除，他的信誉人品在同事之间跌到谷底，他假装无所谓还一直再争住院总的那段日子，直到yang没忍住去骂他，他像小孩子一样和yang吵架说出“你们怎么可这样对我，你们这几个家伙是我在这的全部啊”，啊，真的真实嗷，太戳人了，猛男撒娇，最为致命，Alex就像那个慢慢长大的大男孩。

爱Torres爱金毛爱Lexie。

拉拉后的Torres更自信勇敢了；金毛还是放不下大C，从非洲跑回来和怀了Mark宝宝的Torres重新在一起；Lexie一直像个小女孩一样，讨厌Mark对他的伤害又放不下对Mark的爱…还有这一季April，hahaha，没想到她成为住院总，上一季对她的感觉没太有，枪击案后，owen创伤课那次演练让我眼前一亮，这个女孩在一群个性明显的女孩儿们中让人慢慢也看到了属于自己的光芒。

这群在事业中奔跑的女孩们，Cool and sweet girls, I love you sososo much!

yang结婚了，和owen，在这一集的开头。

开始我都傻眼了，细细检查我是不是漏掉了集数，当初burke花了多少时间，多少精力，为了yang忍了多少心酸才让她决定嫁给他，yang也是各种委屈求全，把自己的傲气和事业的执着忍了又忍才坚持到婚礼的那一刻？

相比和burke混乱又痛苦的婚礼，owen这是不是也太容易了？

枪案发生之后，yang的各种反常行为让我非常不适应，不再抢手术，不再积极，第一次觉得这部戏里的所有人都在纠结，纠结各种各样的性格缺陷带来的烦恼，除了yang。

yang是唯一理智的，唯一没有混乱的性生活的，有原则但是为了在乎的人愿意牺牲自己的，不管那些人多漂亮看起来多光鲜，但是只有这个拥有亚洲血统的yang，有阅读障碍和双学位的yang是真真正正在奋进不受别人思想左右的人。

在那张要求写下最近的性伴侣的单子上，和burke分手已经很长时间的yang只写下了burke一人的名字，在别人纠结自己的私生活的时候她满脑子想的都是抢手术，她从来没有逃过课，在操作练习上还打败过chief，当teddy给yang机会上手术台yang哭着跟gray说她有多么兴奋再握着鲜红有力的心脏为此可以让出owen，她可以为了burke剃掉自己的眉毛然后偷偷求让她握握手术刀找回一点点尊严，她可以原谅owen差点在睡梦中掐死她的这种举动，她可以为了owen喜欢买下有消防滑梯的破烂的60年代的老房子....太多太多的细节堆积起来我才讶然发现，她竟然是这个片子里最完美的人。

然后抢案之后的yang彻底的消极了，不知道为什么她的消极让我觉得整部片子都变得压抑起来，让我觉得烦躁没有耐心起来，每一集我都在期待她能够重新振作起来，可就像当年她因为枪伤差点抛弃burke那么让我纠结，这让我很心碎。

起初对这部片子的喜欢就是因为她和burke的爱情让我觉得美好，虽然别人的某段感情也曾经触动我，但是从未像yang的感情那么正的hit过我，总觉得其他人的感情要么是始于性，要么就是终于性，看多了之后就觉得这都是剧情需要，唯一yang的感情让我觉得很认真。

所以完全没有意外的，第二次被很正的hit是owen。

有多少人在期待burke的回归？

我想不会少，包括我也还在期待，addison都不知道空降多少集了，burke也会回来的吧！

就算是回来虐我们的我们也心甘情愿啊！

但是对burke的期待完全不能影响我对owen的沉迷。

我喜欢军人，不管是owen还是那对同性恋军人我都爱到不行，（虽然他俩只是客串，但是真的帅吐血了阿啊啊啊）我喜欢军人果断的作风，喜欢军人潇洒无所畏惧的走路的样子，那种安全感真的是hit我！

owen用钢笔给伤员做喉咙切割术，果断的拔掉yang肚子上的冰锥，他每次吻yang都是很用力很用力像要把她揉进身体里似的。

虽然他的心理有战创，就像当初burke留下一条抹布在病人的胸腔里几年一样，（这当时让我对burke的印象极度的坏），每个人都有不完美的一面。

不管怎么说yang结婚了，跟owen，我还是觉得这是个好归宿，虽然我不知道导演同志会不会再来次感情关系大清洗，但是，owen是个good guy，至少暂时是值得yang托付的guy。

曾经我也见识过血腥，恐怖，暴力和变态。

cult嘛，限制级嘛不就是。

大腿，胳膊，肠子，一堆血浆..直到实习医生格蕾第7季第三集的那个患者出来我只想说：“我靠！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

”

结束第七季 ，我知道它还没有结束 ，只是最后很想点根烟 很想狠狠吸一口烟。

很多人都离开了 很多 用爱支起生活 可是爱就那么破碎了 这是结束语 这部是我看过最长的电视剧了 一直没有放弃它 中间有过停顿 但就这样看完了 生活不断改变 痛苦隐匿在某处 但阳光总在风雨后 她们的甜蜜与笑容 足以忘记那些 虽然阳光不是常在 起码它掩盖了那些伤痛。

Arizona向Torres求婚的时候，没有什么哭点 ，我只是，只是听到那句“marry me" 受到极大的震撼 突然哽咽 泪如泉涌 打不住 。

只是没想到后面就是煎熬着巨大的痛苦去迎接知足的幸福。

微笑可以掩盖空洞，幸福可以冲刷痛苦。

所以，暴雨常有的，但后面总也会有阳光，

找了半天解读yang如何get shit together的答案没有找到。

Yang一直是那个the most的人，从念书到实习到工作，比赛失败她仍然是最优秀，因为她知道you either win or you learn.在Mer对生活感到没有支撑的时候，Yang说its life.Burk走了，她极度难过但说I'm free.她比任何人都懂人生，她比任何人都懂得意义，她比任何人都懂得爱。

她没有像Bridge一样张牙舞爪，她不可能不痛苦，她suffer，她jog，她扭曲，她PTSD，但她从没有怀疑过什么是自己想要的，生活不顺遂，她从来没有迷失过，没有质疑过自己，没有质疑过选择，即使很长一段时间医院没有好的心外主治，她也没有质疑过环境要打退场卡，她从来没有说过自己这么努力为什么还是失败了。

从来没有。

直到枪击案。

我猜，她丧失了她的意义。

她本有机会逃生，但她作为唯一的也是最优秀的那个，在手术台上握着Derek的心脏，面临着家属的痛哭，脖子却抵在枪子下。

救自己，还是救挚友的老公？

如果作为最优秀，面对的是这样艰难的抉择，那么它的意义是自私的，还是无限付出自己的。

做最优秀的那个，为了什么？

她尝试了各种方式，试图寻找快乐和意义。

她研究了如何钓鱼的一切细节，她抱着一条几十斤重的大胖鱼在她怀里跳跃，渔场主说从来没有人钓到它，波光粼粼的阳光下，她感受到了最的快乐，她找回了她的意义。

等了很久，想在Yang的恢复中给自己力量，或许，答案仍然是我给自己的。

没有经历搏杀的温柔终究是天真。

真正乐观的人，一定经历过苦难。

人生，或许真的比小说精彩。

Hey，Let the magic always be.谢谢你.Yang.Orly.2020/06/26.北京.n刷.

　以前做市场研究时，与女人们聊做饭。

有女说“要想抓住男人的心，先要抓住男人的胃”并践行此道苦练煲汤技能。

我做人谦谨自然不会随便表示不屑，只好笑而不语，笑而不语。

　有一次我妈第68次跟我说要画点妆，我一如既往口头答应着心里当耳边风；妈补充了一个理由说，男人都希望自己媳妇漂亮点。

于是我没修养的叽哩呱啦了一大顿:干什么要靠这个取悦男人，这样的女人多可悲多可怜。

那语气里，好像姐就是天下女人的楷模。。

　姐自诩是独立女性，爱工作爱生活，自打因老公而搬到上海后，纵有多少不顺心，但找到喜欢的新工作，生活还真不错。

　　　GA S7E7里，Robbins获了个特牛逼的奖，要去非洲工作；Torres经过了上一集的郁闷，这一集想开了，准备和她一起去非洲。

　临行前，Mark提醒Torres：I've done a lot of boob jobs, but i also reverse a lot of boob jobs. Women come to me a year or two years after the work is done, and are totally unhappy with the decisions they've made. Mark说T就是那种因为恋人喜欢big rack就去给自己做个double D的人，而她的big rack就是非洲。

　姐在爱情中独立而自我，不为他刻意下厨房不为他而化妆，只是离开自己在北京八年里攒下的一众好友，放弃当时同事关系舒服又让我很有激情的工作，跟他来到一个离我自己爸妈和弟弟更遥远的而且不喜欢的城市。

看到这里，恍然大悟，之前一直没注意自己是多么大的一个二逼啊。

　Torres明白Mark的意思，解释说，but I love her. Mark说，I konw you do. But you need to figure out how to love Africa, too.　我以前真不知道一个城市会给人带来如此多的不舒服，姐做人谦谨，自然不会说是城市不好，只能说是自己太土，不容易适应国际化大都市。

比如此刻虽然开着空调我却还手脚冰凉的在这敲字。

真TM想有暖气啊。

　Torres也算是想得明白，既然自己是爱她，那去就去吧，二人在机场，Torres还说呢，到那也不错，没啥干扰，正好咱们好好研究医术。

　Robbins的不满意终于说了出来：姐得到这个机会，多牛X你也是知道吧，我花公家钱到非洲去救小孩儿，是在实现我这辈子最大的梦想，简直高兴死啦，高兴死啦。

结果可好，你尽扫我的兴，先是抱怨个没完没了，现在又假装满意假装热情，你丫把姐的兴致都给毁了。

算了，我不想跟你一起去了。

　Torres说，可怜的说：I can ... We can do this, we can figure this out. 然后Robbins冷冰冰的说，you stay here and be happy; And I'll go there and be happy. 俗称各回各家，各找各妈。

　喵了个咪的，冷不丁发生这么大件事，要一个人放弃好好的工作到一个前景未知的地方去，抱怨几声不正常吗；这么快就自我开解到肯强颜欢笑了，对方还不满意，嫌配合的不够真诚。

　你以为你做出牺牲了就有理了，扯淡，人家又没叫你陪，还不是你自己愿意来的。

　刚来到这个大城市，我抱怨过，不适应啊，以前一直以为就铁岭是大地方呢。

我抱怨了一阵，他说，我又不是你的垃圾筒。

吵架时他说，又没求着你来，不喜欢你走啊。

　我以为他是气话，原来是我误会了，人家真说正事儿，我偏没当正事儿听，真不知哪里来的自我感觉良好哦。

　后来我学会不抱怨，有什么不如意心里想想算了，算了，实在不喜欢吵架。

　按照一般的标准的话，我过的算是正常的，或者说还不错的，又有了喜欢的工作，按部就班一样样做着或准备做80后该做的事。

　我只是，真的越来越不快乐。

尤其是想到，比如此刻，我爸妈在北京待着呢，我却不在。

倘若我当初没这样做，我现在就可以时不常的看着他们了。

　I'm unhappy with the decision I've made, but not brave enough to reverse it.　Torres幸运之处在于Robbins在她们上飞机前就说了：你不高兴那我自己走好了。

真是为T省了好多时间、好多麻烦哦。

　我是多么希望，曾经的我，足够在乎自己的生活，多想想自己要的是什么，而不是那么盲目。

　那个说要抓住男人的胃的女人，只是花了些时间在厨房而已；说要打扮漂亮些的妈妈，一辈子倒是让爸爸死死的跟着她听她的；只有我这个现代独立二逼，跟着一个男人来到异地他乡，时不常的会掉眼泪。

　当一个人为另一个人做出牺牲时，无形中就会对爱有更高的要求。

这种要求会使两个人的关系发展更不容易。

　本来两个人在一起过日子就不是一件容易的事，尤其对于我们这一代来说，这回到好，有了更高的要求，经营家庭便更不容易了。

　所以，好的关系，重点是“顺便”：他在这里，她在这里，他想结婚，她也想结婚，越顺便，障碍便越少。

　牺牲，也许会为爱情增加力量让它跳得更高，但是它也把那根横杆调得更高了。

能不能跳得过去，反倒说不好。